SURPRISE!!! Daniel and I are having a baby!!!
We are over the moon to be expecting our first child this summer and ITS A GIRL! We are 6 months into this pregnancy and are due the very beginning of June {or possibly the end of May}!! WHAT? That seems so soon and it.is.flying.by. I have several thoughts and emotions about how and when we would share our news on social media {more on that below}, but I thought now was a great time because we have been able to share this exciting time with family and close friends AND our talented friend, Chloe Arnold of Beyond Blessed Blog, took these sweet pictures this past weekend! I am not a big fan of being in front of the camera, but I am so thankful to have this season captured. Not to mention, I am so impressed that she was able to turn our complete awkwardness into sweet moments that we will cherish forever! Thank you Chloe!!! And yes, I take a vitamin D supplement because clearly I'm lacking in the sunshine area :p.
MY THOUGHTS ON SHARING OUR NEWS: I have waited to share this on the blog and social media until now for a couple of reasons: this season has felt very intimate and personal, and social media can be a double-edged sword.
Y'all, the past 6 months have been filled with ups and downs, but mostly have been so unbelievably sweet. I have loved sharing this time with family and friends through conversations! In a world dominated by social media, it has been so refreshing to share our news the "old-fashioned way"-- in person and through calls and text. It has made this time feel even more special! I have also waited to share on social media because I struggled with how and why I would share it publicly. Daniel and I have had several conversations about sharing our news and we realize that social media, although it can be a place of much joy and happiness, it can also be a place of hurt and discouragement. Each of us is blessed in different ways and I would never want to make anyone feel sad or disheartened that another facebook/instagram friend is announcing they are pregnant and living their "happily ever after" (or at least it appears that way, right?) all over their feeds. I am very aware that pregnancy is a sensitive and personal subject to many. So before I get all mushy-gushy and talk about all things baby and how excited I am to watch Daniel become a dad (insert all the heart-eyed emojis), I want you know that we do not take this gift of being pregnant for granted. I thank God daily for this blessing— an answer to prayer— and I know tomorrow does not guarantee the joys of today.
I know there are many women who are reading this who might be struggling to get pregnant, or to find the right man to marry and start a family with, or has had miscarriage after miscarriage, who gets off social media because of the parade of others' "success" in life. Know that I too have sat scrolling through instagram discouraged for whatever reason. But I also have to remind myself that my joy does NOT come from social media and definitely not from comparing myself to others. My happiness and joy come from Jesus and it is when I lose sight of that perspective that I begin to compare my life to others and can get discouraged. With that being said, I also want to say that I LOVE when I see a friend celebrating their life! True happiness is a perspective and I want that perspective on life for everyone!! Social media is such a great way to keep up with friends and classmates and to stay in touch with people who you probably wouldn't otherwise. But I think it is always important to remember that social media gives only a selected glimpse into the lives of others.
***Bottom line***, I have thought long and hard about my intentions for sharing and how to do it on social media and the best way for me to do that is give all the glory to God. This child is HIS and for HIS GLORY and I invite you to pray with us through this crazy journey. He gives life and can take it away and He has blessed us with this baby for whatever reason, and we are so thankful and cherishing each day!
MY STRUGGLE: Okay, I literally found out I was pregnant right when I started an incredible new job. Like a dream job in my book. A challenging and innovative position where I can grow more in my career than I thought was possible... talk about timing. I know this child is a HUGE blessing, but I was a little confused by the exact timing that it took me a little bit to wrap my head around it and I had a LOT of questions, such as....what is God doing here with this timing that I am going to have to take maternity leave from a job that I love before I have been there a year? Will I even be covered for maternity leave since I am new? How much do you get paid during maternity leave anyway? How do you pay bills and rent in New York City when you aren't getting paid a full salary because you have to take time off because you literally just grew a human and pushed it out of your body? How do you even find good childcare? *looks up childcare options in NYC* How on earth do you even afford child care? Can our moms rotate and fly up every other week from Alabama to watch the baby because childcare is outrageous? How do you take a stroller with a baby up and down the subway stairs? How do you take a cab/uber with a baby since we don't have a car? I guess I call an uber to take me to the hospital when I go into labor because surely you don't take the subway in that situation? Do I trust a complete stranger to drive me to the hospital to give birth to human life? Who is going to take care of the dogs while we are at the hospital with our new baby? Are the dogs going to like her? WHERE ON EARTH ARE WE EVEN GOING TO PUT THIS HUMAN IN OUR NYC APARTMENT WHEN WE HAVE LIMITED SPACE AND TWO HORSES AS DOGS??? And that's not even half of my questions.
Needless to say I still don't know the answers to most of these questions and the Lord is showing me that I am not in control and to trust in Him. I was excited from the start but after the initial reality of the situation sunk in and I started channeling all my questions and fears into conversations with God, He took those initial fears and I am PUMPED!! I still struggle with letting go of control and wanting to have everything planned out perfectly, but I try to be in constant prayer over my thoughts each day to release those worries to God. I honestly have no idea how we are going to do life with a tiny human and two large dogs in a big city/small apartment so far from family, but that's okay because I cannot believe He chose us to be this little girls parents!!
MY CONFESSION: So when I mentioned that instagram is a selected glimpse into people's lives... that includes Lyra & Jane. I was a ghost on instagram for a hot minute because y'all, first trimester was ROUGH!!! I couldn't keep anything down (but then I discovered they now have wonderful, baby-friendly medicine that helps SO much) and all I wanted was pizza. Literally I could have eaten pizza for every meal. So here I am staying quiet on Lyra & Jane, my healthier food inspiring feed, because all I was craving was pizza and chicken fingers-- I just want to lay that out there for the record. And can I say that as much as I tried to fight it, the baby gets what the baby wants! Amiright?! The thought of a salad, shake or anything cold during the first trimester (and start of second) would literally make me gag. I would have shared it, but I was panicking that I just started a new job and struggling with how and when I was going to tell my work and how they were going to react, and also struggling with the whole sharing on social media thing. I'm happy to say I am back to feeling like myself again and back to my normal eating habits, PRAISE!
MY EMOTIONS: Another thing...my emotions first trimester were ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! Daniel was passing me a spoon in the kitchen and I dropped it on the counter and erupted into a total meltdown. The spoon maybe dropped 6 inches and didn't even have anything on it, but it was just devastating to me and I couldn't breathe I was crying so hard. Poor Daniel had no idea what was going on. In all fairness, neither did I! I have continued to work out, but I have been dropping things like crazy since becoming pregnant. I asked the doctor about it and since I have always retained fluid easily my hands started swelling early, so it is putting pressure on some of my nerves which is making me lose my grip. I have watched my salt intake which has made no difference for me in the swelling area and the doctor said that some women just swell regardless of their diet during pregnancy. Some days my wedding ring suffocates me and the thought of putting it on stresses me out. I actually just took it off while I was typing this so I could breathe. With that being said, because I swell SO easily, I know I'm going to be one of those pregnant women who's nose swells and gets really big. I am already mentally preparing myself and warned Daniel for that.
Also, it is important to note that although I am feeling much better, my tear ducts are still in over drive!! We were at the farmer's market just the other day and I went to pay for some homemade granola and almond croissant and it was cash only-- I only had a card. I turned to Daniel who also was cash-free and tears just started pouring down my face. Why? I have no idea. I know that farmer's markets are typically cash only and I wasn't even that attached to the granola or croissant. But I can cry at any time for ANY reason and the poor guy at the booth probably thought I was crazy. So there's that.
MY PERSON: Daniel! What a saint, y'all. When I say the Lord knew what He was doing when He put the two of us together, I MEAN IT!! He knows how to make me laugh when I get worked up and is constantly telling me what a good job I am doing with this pregnancy... even though I have meltdowns over dropping a spoon 6 inches and not having cash at the farmer's market. Of course some of his witty comments and jokes continue to get him in trouble, especially during the first trimester-- bless his heart, but I am so thankful to have him by my side during this. I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful he has been during this pregnancy. I am excited to meet our baby girl, but I am most excited to see Daniel become a father. The thought literally brings tears to my eyes. He is going to be THE BEST and our little girl is the luckiest to have him as a dad!! I'm not crying, you're crying.
I'll stop here for now before this post gets way longer than it already is. To sum it up, we are THRILLED about this miracle growing inside of me that is a gift from God, and it is the most beautiful, humbling and incredible experience. I know this is going to be one wild adventure and we ask you to join us in prayer over this blessing!
With love, Norma & Daniel {and baby girl Powell}
